"We will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it."
--The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
I met a lovely young woman a while back, 30-something, single mom, wonderfully wicked sense of humor. You would never guess that 6 years ago, she was, in her words, a “lady drunk.” Alcoholism runs on both sides of her family. Growing up with family violence fueled by drinking, Carrie swore, as most children of alcoholics do, that she would never turn into a drunk, never make her own kids have to go what she went through.
And, in many ways, she succeeded. She never missed work because of drinking. She has never laid a hand on her children or allowed anyone else to, either. One very unusual evening, as she generally drank by herself, Carrie and some friends got wasted at a bar, and she got into a fist-fight with another customer. She spent a couple of weeks in jail thinking about where she was taking her life, and decided to start going to AA when she got out.
Carrie has done a one-eighty since that time. She took a number of parenting classes, got herself and the kids out of a deteriorating home environment before things got ugly, went back to school, and remains generously active in AA. Only one problem: she lost her job over a year ago, and hasn’t been able to find anything since.
It’s not for lack of looking. It’s her jail record. She’s very matter-of-fact about all this: “I hit that girl, I deserved to go to jail, and thank God I did or I probably wouldn’t be sober today. It’s just that… man…..I just about had this one job. I told them everything, they were cool with it, then the whole thing fell through. For about the 8th time.”
Any employer would be lucky to get Carrie. She wants to work.
She's a great believer in accepting what is. Since getting sober, she has seen desolate situations turn into opportunities when she lets go and remembers that she is not alone with her problems.
So readers, what do you think? Do you have any ideas to pass along?
How refreshing it is to hear about someone who has broken the mold? Although Carrie comes from a family of alcoholics, her own experiences have brought her to a point where she was willing to step off of the path set by those who went before her.
ReplyDeleteBest of all, when she has suffered set backs, Carrie didn't lapse into a funk and decide it was all just too hard.
It's people like Carrie who deserve a break. Not just for herself, but because she could be a living breathing example to others of just what can be achieved when one is determined to change.
Carrie is a remarkable woman. Even with this current stressful situation, she still gets out there and devotes time, energy, and love in helping other people to get and stay sober.
ReplyDeleteShe's confident that she'll find something, and that the growth and strength she'll get from going through this will make it worthwhile. Pretty impressive, eh?
Thanks for writing.