I recently had the honor of writing an article for a thoughtful, well-written blog called simplyminded. The author, Dave Thielen, writes about clearing away the excess that clogs up our lives and prevents us from living out our values.
Dave writes on such things as the lessons to be learned from drinking tea, resources for starting a low-overhead online business, and practical ideas for cultivating more happiness. Sit down and take a look at his blog, and leave some comments.
The post I wrote for him is How to Get Started Meditating. Leave comments for me, too!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Overcoming Obstacles
"We will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it."
--The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
I met a lovely young woman a while back, 30-something, single mom, wonderfully wicked sense of humor. You would never guess that 6 years ago, she was, in her words, a “lady drunk.” Alcoholism runs on both sides of her family. Growing up with family violence fueled by drinking, Carrie swore, as most children of alcoholics do, that she would never turn into a drunk, never make her own kids have to go what she went through.
And, in many ways, she succeeded. She never missed work because of drinking. She has never laid a hand on her children or allowed anyone else to, either. One very unusual evening, as she generally drank by herself, Carrie and some friends got wasted at a bar, and she got into a fist-fight with another customer. She spent a couple of weeks in jail thinking about where she was taking her life, and decided to start going to AA when she got out.
Carrie has done a one-eighty since that time. She took a number of parenting classes, got herself and the kids out of a deteriorating home environment before things got ugly, went back to school, and remains generously active in AA. Only one problem: she lost her job over a year ago, and hasn’t been able to find anything since.
It’s not for lack of looking. It’s her jail record. She’s very matter-of-fact about all this: “I hit that girl, I deserved to go to jail, and thank God I did or I probably wouldn’t be sober today. It’s just that… man…..I just about had this one job. I told them everything, they were cool with it, then the whole thing fell through. For about the 8th time.”
Any employer would be lucky to get Carrie. She wants to work.
She's a great believer in accepting what is. Since getting sober, she has seen desolate situations turn into opportunities when she lets go and remembers that she is not alone with her problems.
So readers, what do you think? Do you have any ideas to pass along?
--The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
I met a lovely young woman a while back, 30-something, single mom, wonderfully wicked sense of humor. You would never guess that 6 years ago, she was, in her words, a “lady drunk.” Alcoholism runs on both sides of her family. Growing up with family violence fueled by drinking, Carrie swore, as most children of alcoholics do, that she would never turn into a drunk, never make her own kids have to go what she went through.
And, in many ways, she succeeded. She never missed work because of drinking. She has never laid a hand on her children or allowed anyone else to, either. One very unusual evening, as she generally drank by herself, Carrie and some friends got wasted at a bar, and she got into a fist-fight with another customer. She spent a couple of weeks in jail thinking about where she was taking her life, and decided to start going to AA when she got out.
Carrie has done a one-eighty since that time. She took a number of parenting classes, got herself and the kids out of a deteriorating home environment before things got ugly, went back to school, and remains generously active in AA. Only one problem: she lost her job over a year ago, and hasn’t been able to find anything since.
It’s not for lack of looking. It’s her jail record. She’s very matter-of-fact about all this: “I hit that girl, I deserved to go to jail, and thank God I did or I probably wouldn’t be sober today. It’s just that… man…..I just about had this one job. I told them everything, they were cool with it, then the whole thing fell through. For about the 8th time.”
Any employer would be lucky to get Carrie. She wants to work.
She's a great believer in accepting what is. Since getting sober, she has seen desolate situations turn into opportunities when she lets go and remembers that she is not alone with her problems.
So readers, what do you think? Do you have any ideas to pass along?
Right Livelihood: Veterans Farm
Under the best of conditions it’s difficult to find and maintain work. Imagine trying to do so while learning to adjust to a closed head injury, post-traumatic stress disorder, and a feeling of alienation from the culture in which you grew up.
This is the experience of a huge percentage of veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan. The rate of unemployment in this group is 10%, one-third of the homeless population are veterans, and 20% of suicides in the United States are committed by veterans.
Veterans Farm, an organic blueberry farm in the Jacksonville area of Florida, takes a life-affirming approach to empowering disabled veterans to heal, return to work, and reintegrate into American society. It was begun by Adam Burke, a veteran who came back from Iraq with PTSD and a closed head injury. Seeking to come to terms with his disabilities and wartime experiences, he remembered peaceful and satisfying work on his family’s farm growing up. He realized “horticulture therapy” provided an ideal environment for rehabilitation, and talked his wife into buying a small farm.
With the help of Michael O’Gorman, an organic farmer with the Farmer-Veteran Coalition, he started growing blueberries on 2 1/2 acres, got 5 other veterans on board, and began collaborating with other organizations. They now have 8 additional acres and a 14-week program in place that provides a stipend to the veterans while they learn farming skills. They will also be able to ease back into the social rhythms of civilian society by selling berries at farmers markets, to local stores, and at the farm. And work with plants re-develops gross and fine motor skills and eye-hand coordination lost to closed head injuries.
Other reasons why farming is uniquely suited to veterans returning to a troubled economy is that 45% of the military come from rural areas. Farming is one of the few growth industries in the current economy. Two farmers retire for every new one entering the field, and they are all desperate to hire skilled workers.
Veterans continuing to serve through growing healthy food for us and educating the public about sustainable organic farming. Demonstrating that life can still flourish after trauma and injury that only another veteran can really understand. Abundance happens!
This is the experience of a huge percentage of veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan. The rate of unemployment in this group is 10%, one-third of the homeless population are veterans, and 20% of suicides in the United States are committed by veterans.
Veterans Farm, an organic blueberry farm in the Jacksonville area of Florida, takes a life-affirming approach to empowering disabled veterans to heal, return to work, and reintegrate into American society. It was begun by Adam Burke, a veteran who came back from Iraq with PTSD and a closed head injury. Seeking to come to terms with his disabilities and wartime experiences, he remembered peaceful and satisfying work on his family’s farm growing up. He realized “horticulture therapy” provided an ideal environment for rehabilitation, and talked his wife into buying a small farm.
With the help of Michael O’Gorman, an organic farmer with the Farmer-Veteran Coalition, he started growing blueberries on 2 1/2 acres, got 5 other veterans on board, and began collaborating with other organizations. They now have 8 additional acres and a 14-week program in place that provides a stipend to the veterans while they learn farming skills. They will also be able to ease back into the social rhythms of civilian society by selling berries at farmers markets, to local stores, and at the farm. And work with plants re-develops gross and fine motor skills and eye-hand coordination lost to closed head injuries.
Other reasons why farming is uniquely suited to veterans returning to a troubled economy is that 45% of the military come from rural areas. Farming is one of the few growth industries in the current economy. Two farmers retire for every new one entering the field, and they are all desperate to hire skilled workers.
Veterans continuing to serve through growing healthy food for us and educating the public about sustainable organic farming. Demonstrating that life can still flourish after trauma and injury that only another veteran can really understand. Abundance happens!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Working With Worry
A friend writes:
"I don’t know about you, but I can get pulled in pretty easily sometimes by thoughts masquerading as Reality. The feelings they generate can be so intense, so compelling, that, without realizing it, I’m caught up in knowing that that this is how it is and how it ever shall be.
"I might be having a good day, feeling secure in the abundance that surrounds us. Then the television starts yammering about the economy. Except it’s not really talking about the economy, it’s talking about Drama. If I stepped back and thought about it, I’d realize, “Oh, this is supposed to get me worked up and sucked in by god-awful stories until the commercials come on.” But instead, I watch, I get anxious, I begin to generate images of going under. I won’t be able to pay my bills. There will be no one to help me. I’ll become a bag lady. And so on.
"One problem here is that my bag lady meditation doesn’t lead to constructive action to assist real-life homeless people, or people without health insurance, or people who’ve lost their jobs and are putting their living expenses on credit cards. That is perhaps the biggest problem with cultivating the belief that there will not be enough for me: it cuts me off from the very people I could be working with to create better situations for all of us.
"I ran across a newspaper article that gave me some realistic, exciting ideas about how we can positively impact the economic crisis. It spoke about everyday people volunteering their time and talents to help unemployed folks find jobs. I need to be involved with efforts like that for my mental health. I need reminders that we aren’t alone, and that people team up together all the time and solve substantial problems. I also need to enjoy my volunteer activities, or else I won’t keep up with them. It’s fun to work with others, much more fun than sitting by myself watching re-runs of my bag lady movies."
"I don’t know about you, but I can get pulled in pretty easily sometimes by thoughts masquerading as Reality. The feelings they generate can be so intense, so compelling, that, without realizing it, I’m caught up in knowing that that this is how it is and how it ever shall be.
"I might be having a good day, feeling secure in the abundance that surrounds us. Then the television starts yammering about the economy. Except it’s not really talking about the economy, it’s talking about Drama. If I stepped back and thought about it, I’d realize, “Oh, this is supposed to get me worked up and sucked in by god-awful stories until the commercials come on.” But instead, I watch, I get anxious, I begin to generate images of going under. I won’t be able to pay my bills. There will be no one to help me. I’ll become a bag lady. And so on.
"One problem here is that my bag lady meditation doesn’t lead to constructive action to assist real-life homeless people, or people without health insurance, or people who’ve lost their jobs and are putting their living expenses on credit cards. That is perhaps the biggest problem with cultivating the belief that there will not be enough for me: it cuts me off from the very people I could be working with to create better situations for all of us.
"I ran across a newspaper article that gave me some realistic, exciting ideas about how we can positively impact the economic crisis. It spoke about everyday people volunteering their time and talents to help unemployed folks find jobs. I need to be involved with efforts like that for my mental health. I need reminders that we aren’t alone, and that people team up together all the time and solve substantial problems. I also need to enjoy my volunteer activities, or else I won’t keep up with them. It’s fun to work with others, much more fun than sitting by myself watching re-runs of my bag lady movies."
Mindfulness and Work
Here in Michigan, our unemployment rate is first in the nation at 14.9%. Yikes. Lots of people are staying in jobs that they might otherwise leave. So what do you do if your job requires you to do the work of two or more people, your pay has been cut, you’re way underemployed?
Martha, for one, is using her less-than-optimal job as an opportunity to do the work she’s really interested in: “my personality overhaul,” as she puts it. A self-described “worry wort,” her impressive stress-generation skills led her to begin meditating a few years ago. Her anxiety began to go down, and she started feeling much more comfortable around people.
As she developed a daily routine of “following her breath,” simply paying attention to how her chest feels as it rises and falls, she began noticing. Noticing? Noticing what?
“Well, I just notice things a lot more than I used to. Wait — that sounds lame. What I mean is, I used to go in my office at work and shut the door. I would stay in there all morning. It’s so awful down there. Everybody’s so depressed. I really have no idea if I’m going to get laid off in three months or not. But I noticed last week I don’t shut my door any more. I’m still worried, but I’m realizing that everyone else is, too.
“I’m talking to people now. What does that have to do with the meditation? Maybe nothing, I don’t know. It’s just that before, I never thought much about what people were thinking. But lately I’m paying more attention to the expressions on people’s faces. I’m learning things about people that I had no idea were going on.
“It’s too bad, because half of us will be gone by the end of the year, and I’m just now starting to get to know people. I like them a lot. Well, even if I never see most of them again, I’m glad I’m going out this way, instead of staying holed up in my office.
“And that, to me, is what it's all about.”
Martha, for one, is using her less-than-optimal job as an opportunity to do the work she’s really interested in: “my personality overhaul,” as she puts it. A self-described “worry wort,” her impressive stress-generation skills led her to begin meditating a few years ago. Her anxiety began to go down, and she started feeling much more comfortable around people.
As she developed a daily routine of “following her breath,” simply paying attention to how her chest feels as it rises and falls, she began noticing. Noticing? Noticing what?
“Well, I just notice things a lot more than I used to. Wait — that sounds lame. What I mean is, I used to go in my office at work and shut the door. I would stay in there all morning. It’s so awful down there. Everybody’s so depressed. I really have no idea if I’m going to get laid off in three months or not. But I noticed last week I don’t shut my door any more. I’m still worried, but I’m realizing that everyone else is, too.
“I’m talking to people now. What does that have to do with the meditation? Maybe nothing, I don’t know. It’s just that before, I never thought much about what people were thinking. But lately I’m paying more attention to the expressions on people’s faces. I’m learning things about people that I had no idea were going on.
“It’s too bad, because half of us will be gone by the end of the year, and I’m just now starting to get to know people. I like them a lot. Well, even if I never see most of them again, I’m glad I’m going out this way, instead of staying holed up in my office.
“And that, to me, is what it's all about.”
Mindfulness
Whatever is important to us deserves our careful and compassionate attention. Mindfulness, the practice of paying close attention, can enhance and enlighten every area of our lives.
Jon Kabat-Zinn, the pioneer of mind-body medicine, defines mindfulness in his classic book Full Catastrophe Living this way:
There’s probably no better way to learn to live more mindfully than to develop a regular meditation practice. I’m going to give you some simple instructions, and also refer you to this beautiful video of meditation master Thich Nhat Hanh teaching mindfulness.
Since your breath is always with you, this method of “observing your breath” is a good starting point. Sit up as straight as you comfortably can and close your eyes, or look at one spot on the floor about three feet in front of you. Find a spot in your upper body where you can distinctly feel yourself breathing. This might be in your diaphragm area, your chest, or your nostrils. Now, just pay attention to your breath naturally coming in and out of your body. Don’t try to breathe deeply; some of your breaths will be short and light, others will be longer and deep.
That’s it. Oh, one other thing. Your mind will definitely wander all over, and, if you’re like 98% of people, you’ll get mad at yourself for this, or feel that you aren’t doing it “right.” The wandering thoughts happen to everyone. The Dalai Lama even says it happens to him. When you notice it, just gently bring your attention back to your breath.
Try to start out meditating 3 to 5 days a week for 5 to 15 minutes, and gradually work up to 5 days a week for 30 minutes. Since you will no doubt come up with questions, look for a group of people in your area who meditate, and join them. It is much easier to keep your meditation going with the support of other people. If you can’t find a local group, do a Google search for an online support system.
Readers — please comment!
1. Do you meditate or practice any other form of mindfulness? Please tell us about your experiences with it.
Jon Kabat-Zinn, the pioneer of mind-body medicine, defines mindfulness in his classic book Full Catastrophe Living this way:
“Simply put, mindfulness is moment-to-moment awareness. It is cultivated by purposefully paying attention to things we ordinarily never give a moment’s thought to. It is a systematic approach to developing new kinds of control and wisdom in our lives, based on our inner capacities for relaxation, paying attention, awareness, and insight.”
Since your breath is always with you, this method of “observing your breath” is a good starting point. Sit up as straight as you comfortably can and close your eyes, or look at one spot on the floor about three feet in front of you. Find a spot in your upper body where you can distinctly feel yourself breathing. This might be in your diaphragm area, your chest, or your nostrils. Now, just pay attention to your breath naturally coming in and out of your body. Don’t try to breathe deeply; some of your breaths will be short and light, others will be longer and deep.
That’s it. Oh, one other thing. Your mind will definitely wander all over, and, if you’re like 98% of people, you’ll get mad at yourself for this, or feel that you aren’t doing it “right.” The wandering thoughts happen to everyone. The Dalai Lama even says it happens to him. When you notice it, just gently bring your attention back to your breath.
Try to start out meditating 3 to 5 days a week for 5 to 15 minutes, and gradually work up to 5 days a week for 30 minutes. Since you will no doubt come up with questions, look for a group of people in your area who meditate, and join them. It is much easier to keep your meditation going with the support of other people. If you can’t find a local group, do a Google search for an online support system.
Readers — please comment!
1. Do you meditate or practice any other form of mindfulness? Please tell us about your experiences with it.
Mindfulness and Money
The ways we spend and don’t spend money have such rich information about the real issue: our internal landscapes, and the places where they intersect with the outer world.
You’re standing in a store. You see something you want. Here is an opportunity to mindfully tend and water your internal landscape.
There is no hidden agenda here of “spend less money, you over-consumer!” You may, in fact, do well to spend more, especially on certain things. How can you know how much to spend if you don’t know your internal landscape? Right now, we just want to see what’s there. You’ll learn how to access your own internal wisdom to guide you in spending decisions. If there is any “agenda,” it would be to learn to give yourself what truly satisfies you.
Readers, please comment:
You’re standing in a store. You see something you want. Here is an opportunity to mindfully tend and water your internal landscape.
Move out of the aisle into a quiet spot, so you can consciously breathe a few times. Go into the rest room if you feel self-conscious. Now, find where it is in your body that you want. It may be a watering in your mouth, a warmth rising up your neck to your face.
This sensation is not good or bad. There is no need to figure out if the sensation is telling you “buy” or “don’t buy.” Your only job is to notice that this is what your body is creating in response to this desire, today, in this store.
Now see if any statements come into your mind:
The kids need this.
The kids would like this.
"You spend too much!"
I never get to have anything!
I should get this.
"You don’t need this."
Check in again with your body. What are you feeling now, in your chest, your gut, your arms, your face?
There is no hidden agenda here of “spend less money, you over-consumer!” You may, in fact, do well to spend more, especially on certain things. How can you know how much to spend if you don’t know your internal landscape? Right now, we just want to see what’s there. You’ll learn how to access your own internal wisdom to guide you in spending decisions. If there is any “agenda,” it would be to learn to give yourself what truly satisfies you.
Readers, please comment:
- What was your immediate reaction, physical, emotional, or mental, to this meditation?
- Did you try it? If so, what happened for you?
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